Saturday, July 27, 2013


Nevertheless I am continually with thee; thou dost hold my right hand. Thou dost guide me with thy council and afterward thou wilt receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but thee? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides thee. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”  ~Psalm 73:23-26

Just another day. Like copying the page of a journal and pasting on the next. Nothing changes.
She finds herself yet another night screaming. Screaming to no one. Screaming into an empty world.
Her fists are clenched tight. She stares into the moonlight. But the earth is blurred—her tears have started to fall once again.
The wind tosses her hair into her eyes. She falls to the ground and beats her fists. She takes stones and bruises her hands. Her wrists are already swollen, cut, and bleeding.
She remains crying. She finds no strength to stop.
The wounds on her heart are deeper than any that scar her body.
It’s called pain.
It’s the pain when you feel you’ve lost all hope.
It’s the pain when you feel you’ve been torn in two.
It’s the pain when you feel there’s no healing.

Flashbacks crash through her head that make her feel weak to her stomach.
Her head is now buried in her bleeding arms and her knees are pulled tight to her chest.
She sits there alone on the cold ground. The chilled wind touches her skin, but she doesn’t seem to notice.
She listens intently for something….anything to give her courage, strength and healing. But hears only the silence and the sound of death calling for her.

The memories of the past have come back and hit her with full force. All regrets. The word “pain” has been forever engraved on her broken heart.
Too much had come to her in the past year—more than could be handled. So much she kept up inside her. So much she didn’t or couldn’t let out. All of it became too much and seemed to have burst inside her.
How long should she hold on to life? Was it even worth living? This chaos seemed too much!
As she sat there the clouds thundered like the rage and hurt within her. And the rain came down like the tears from her eyes.

She kept listening. She heard nothing. But in one moment her head was lifted. A soft voice was heard through the storm calling to her and a phrase she had once repeated over and over came to her “Bring me your heart, no matter how broken. Just come as you are, when your last prayer is spoken. Just rest in my arms for a little while, you’ll feel a change my child.”
She felt herself being lifted up. The clouds parted and a ray of light came down over her.
In front of her, a man reached out His hand, took her hand in His, and whispered in her ear “You’re safe now”. They ran in slow motion and were soon blotted out by the bright light. Everything seemed to pause in action and the world was silent.

A crack of lightning was heard and she was shot back into reality.  She was still sitting there. Thunder and lightning still surrounding her…but this time? She felt no pain. A feeling of hope was there. The heart that was once empty and completely dried up was now filled. And the wounds of pain were now healed and turned to scars—not ugly scars…but beautiful scars.
She saw that eternal love, grabbed hold of it and wouldn’t let go.  She felt strength. She felt healing. And she now found she was able to become the ultimate overcomer—to let go of the past and live the beautiful life ahead of her.

There is healing. No matter what the world throws at you, don’t give up. Keep fighting. Defeat those dragons. Climb those mountains. Hit those curveballs. And do something a brilliant friend always reminds me to do…..“SMILE”. :)
And whenever you feel you can’t go on. Go back to the place where this girl found hope. You’ll still see her looking up to the sky, arms outstretched, spinning in slow motion, and wrapped up tight in God’s love.

She found healing….I’m sure you can, too. 

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